I Quit My Job as a Forensic SANE Nurse — Here’s the Trauma No One Talks About
Disclaimer: This episode discusses sensitive and potentially distressing topics, including domestic violence, rape, suicide and death. Listener and reader discretion is advised.
Podcast Episode
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After 16 years in nursing and nearly 200 forensic exams, Leah Helmbrecht—better known as OffTheClockNurse—has stepped away from the most meaningful job she’s ever had. In a profession that demands compassion, precision, and resilience, Helmbrecht reached her breaking point. Her story isn’t just about burnout—it’s about vicarious trauma, moral injury, and the emotional cost of showing up every day for survivors of violence when the system keeps letting them down.
Leah shared her experience on a recent episode of the Nurse Converse podcast, where she walked listeners through her emotional journey in raw, unfiltered detail. She discussed the traumatic moments that accumulated over her career and the one case that ultimately led her to resign from her role as a forensic nurse examiner (FNE).
"Every Job Had a Breaking Point"
She began her career on an orthotrauma floor, where unsafe staffing and patient aggression pushed her to leave. Leah later worked in the OR for more than a decade, walked away after an emotional honor walk for a pediatric organ donor, and took on roles as a recruiter, nurse advice line RN, and discharge planner—each one adding another chapter to her evolving nursing identity.
“I have been a nurse for almost 16 years... but through all the different specialties I’ve held, there has always been something that caused me to quit,” she said.
200 Forensic Exams—And a Heavy Emotional Toll
For the past four years, Helmbrecht worked PRN as a forensic nurse examiner, treating patients of all ages—some as young as 4 years old and others as old as 87—who experienced sexual assault, intimate partner violence, and human sex trafficking.
“I remember almost every single one of them,” she said. “It’s a blessing for the prosecution, but a curse to me.”
She detailed how legal outcomes often failed her patients, with perpetrators receiving reduced charges or probation—even in cases involving severe physical trauma. Leah described the deep frustration of watching patients do everything “right,” only to be met with systemic betrayal.
The Breaking Point: A Video She Can’t Forget
One case changed everything. A survivor came forward with high-definition video footage of her own rape. The police reviewed the evidence—then referred her for a forensic exam anyway. To protect the patient from re-traumatization, she offered to watch the video herself.
“That was probably the biggest mistake I could have made for my career and for myself. I can remember this entire video footage. It pops in my brain randomly at times or when I'm asleep as a nightmare.”
Since then, Leah has experienced vivid nightmares, anxiety attacks, emotional detachment, and suicidal thoughts—symptoms she now recognizes as vicarious trauma.
A Career Built on Caring—And Knowing When to Step Back
Even though the forensic nursing role was PRN, Helmbrecht poured full-time energy into it. Outside the exam room, she:
- Helped place DV and trafficking resource posters in hospital restrooms
- Secured prepaid cell phones for patients whose abusers destroyed their devices
- Co-developed an online series to teach children about consent and trafficking
But after the trauma began to seep into her everyday life, she knew she had to walk away. Leah realized that the same advice she often gave to her domestic violence patients—that it’s possible to love something deeply and it still be toxic for you—also applied to her relationship with her job. Holding herself to that same standard was one of the hardest but most necessary steps she’s taken in her career.
What’s Next: Advocacy, Travel, and New Roles in Patient Care
While she may have stepped away from forensic nursing, Leah isn’t stepping away from patient care or advocacy.
She continues working part-time as a discharge nurse and has taken on two new PRN roles:
- Research coordination: Screening patients referred by sexual assault clinics across the U.S. for potential enrollment in trauma recovery studies. This keeps her connected to survivors while shifting the focus toward healing.
- Aesthetic medicine: Working at a medical spa, where she monitors patients using GLP-1 medications for weight loss—offering a refreshing contrast to crisis-based care.
Outside of clinical work, Helmbrecht is using her platform, @OffTheClockNurse, to lead international group trips. Upcoming itineraries include the European Christmas markets and a 2026 trip to witness the monarch butterfly migration in Central America.
She remains involved in the forensic nursing field by attending professional association meetings and staying updated on trauma care research. With ongoing court subpoenas tied to her past cases, Leah continues to play a role in the legal process.
Through it all, she is committed to using her voice and online presence to educate and advocate on topics like domestic violence, sexual assault, and human sex trafficking—helping drive awareness and systemic change even from outside the exam room.
Advice for Nurses Facing Burnout
Helmbrecht offered a message to nurses who may be struggling with burnout, moral injury, or vicarious trauma:
- You’re not stuck.
- You can love your job and still need to leave.
- Stepping away doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
She wants nurses to remember that strength isn't just about pushing through—it's about knowing when to pause, reset, and protect your own peace. Whether you're considering a shift in your role or simply need time to recover, your skills, compassion, and purpose don’t disappear. They evolve. There’s always another way to make an impact, and the nursing profession is big enough to meet you where you are.
