Foster Care Told Jeffrey He'd Be in Prison By Age 21, He Became a Nurse Instead
Known as 'Nurse Jeffrey,' to his followers, the new grad says he "loves" being a nurse: "It makes me feel important to someone when growing up, I felt like I had no real value in someone's life.
Known simply as "Nurse Jeffrey" (@jeffrey_mckinley) to his followers, Jeffrey McKinley, LPN, was once told that he was destined for a path to prison. Growing up within the foster care system, McKinley says that he was often told that he would either end up incarcerated or dead before the age of 21.
McKinley, instead, decided he was destined for a different path in life. His decision didn't happen overnight, but he tells Nurse.org that several circumstances and a mentor along the way helped him decide he deserved a different type of future. With one major hurdle overcome in his life, McKinley has set his sights on even more education.
His next stop? CRNA school.
Growing Up in the Foster System
McKinley, 24, from Greenville, SC, does not associate with his biological family after being placed in the foster care system at the age of two years old. He explains that some of his earliest years in foster care are "a blur," but he faced enormous challenges, including physical abuse, fighting, witnessing drug use, and threats to his life.
"There was always fighting in the house," he says.
After he was temporarily placed back with his biological parents and siblings, McKinley shares that his oldest biological sister (he was the youngest of five) threatened to hurt him in his sleep. He didn't sleep that night and remembers going to school the next day and breaking the school bus's windows.
"I just wanted to be heard," he says.
Because of the threats to his safety, McKinley was removed from his biological family and reentered foster care yet again. And that's where he says he feels "his behaviors really started." He says he acted out, getting into fights and running away from the various group homes he was placed in. Over and over, McKinley heard the same messages: that he would end up in prison or dead by age 21. "I never really understood with the age of 21; Everybody who has ever mentioned this likes the age of 21," he observes. McKinley cycled through group homes and mentors until he met Doug, a mentor he credits for changing his life.
While the two didn't do anything earth-shattering, primarily "hanging out" and doing simple things like going out to eat together, McKinley says Doug's presence in his life started to change things for him. Although he still struggled with some behaviors, like fighting and acting out, Doug did something different for the young teen:
"He stuck around," McKinley notes.
McKinley credits Doug and a new job for helping him envision a different future for himself.
"I feel like my mentor was the only person who changed my mindset," he remembers. "Seeing the disappointment on his face after I did some things….he didn't say anything, but the look on his face told it all. I feel that was a big event that started me changing my mindset."
Homeless and Working in Healthcare
Eventually, aged out of foster care and kicked out of both his group home and the Army for fighting, McKinley found himself homeless and living in his car. In need of a second job to support himself, he took a job working in home care and found that he enjoyed talking to the patients and interacting with them.
He enjoyed his new role as a caregiver so much, in fact, that he earned his Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) license and decided to go to nursing school.
As a nursing student, McKinley says he struggled without a true support system or the financial resources many students have. Still, he pushed on and tells Nurse.org that he feels that his difficult past gives him empathy and connection to a lot of his patients.
Now, officially an LPN, McKinley recently took his first stint as a new nursing graduate and reports that he finds enormous fulfillment in his job.
"I love it," he says. "It makes me feel important to someone when growing up, I felt like I had no real value in someone's life. I feel I'm important to people now because I have people counting on me now."
While some of the challenges McKinley has faced in his life haven't ended with his nursing credentials—he points out being a male nurse comes with its own set of prejudices and challenges—he marvels at how much his life has changed from the dire predictions he once faced in foster care.
"To make it to this point, some days it feels unreal," he says. "To know where I was at a couple of years ago in life and the path I was heading down… and now my life has taken a whole 360-degree turn around."
Sharing His Message
Today, McKinley shares about his journey and life as an LPN, now pursuing his RN, on his TikTok (@jeffrey_mckinley) and Instagram (@nurse_jeffrey3136) accounts. He shares everything from hacks for nursing students to honest updates about his life, like the negative messages he received as a youth in foster care and how those messages affected him.
"The mindset I had came from pain and anger," McKinley admits. "So many people thought I wasn't going to amount to anything in life."
McKinley says that it was tough to overcome the feelings and negative message he heard that made him "feel worthless," but as a nurse with a platform, he hopes to challenge that message, especially for youth who are currently in foster care. He wants to tell any youth currently struggling in the foster care system that "it's not their fault" and that it's normal to feel hurt and even angry.
"You were dealt a bad hand in life, and it's ok to be mad, it's ok to be hurt about your situation," McKinley says. "Use that pain and anger and put it into something good; use it to motivate you, to pass tests in school; use it to push you on days you don't feel like doing something."
"You have a superpower that most people don't," he adds. "You know real pain, and you know what it feels like to not be seen or not feel important, so use that to push you."
The trauma he experienced affected him deeply, and McKinley admits that to this day, he still uses some of the pain and hurt he felt to push himself to achieve his new goals.
"I think about certain situations from my childhood when people talked badly about me or made me feel worthless, and I use that," he describes. "Every time I don't feel like doing something, I suck it up and go back to doing what I know I'm supposed to do to get to the next level."
@jeffrey_mckinley My first nursing check as a new grad nurse #nursejeffrey #newgradnurse #nursesoftiktok #paycheck #nursingstudent #fyp ♬ Monkeyshine-JP - Lt FitzGibbons Men
For McKinley, that next level includes completing the RN bridge program he's currently enrolled in and eventually, CRNA school. He dreams of doing motivational speaking, adopting children, and "holding his head up" high through any doors that may open up for him along the way. He says TikTok has opened his eyes to how his story might be inspiring to others, and he hopes to continue sharing his message of hope and positivity.
"I hope my story will get people to get up and chase their dreams," he says. "Today is the day to stop being average."
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