September 27, 2021

34 Phlebotomy Memes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

34 Phlebotomy Memes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Drawing blood from patients all day can be stressful! This is why it is important to find hilarity wherever possible, especially when you work as a phlebotomist.

These memes will make you laugh and help you find comedy in the daily grind in a way that only phlebotomists can understand. Who knows, maybe your new sense of humor will rub off on your patients and make sticking people with needles all day less stressful for everyone.

30+ Phlebotomy Memes Every Phlebotomist Needs to See

#1. Tattoos

When your patient has physical proof that they can handle needles, but refuses to have their blood drawn out of sheer terror. 

My face when the man with tattoos is afraid of needles.


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#2.  Beautiful stranger veins

When you see veins so beautiful you can’t help but stare and offer a compliment.

Ever find yourself admiring a stranger's veins.

Via Cute766, Image source 

#3. Phlebotomy is sexy

If Ryan Gosling was taking your blood, would you still be mad?

Hey girl, talk phlebotomy to me ;)


#4. The bigger the challenge, the better

Watch me nail this blood draw with my eyes closed.

Anytime a patient tells me they're a hard stick, I'm just like challenge accepted!


#5. Brave young souls

When your patient is this cute, how can you say no?

My momma said you have to use a butterfly on me

Via Facebook

#6. The first time you recognize your power

“So, you are going to cause me pain and then charge me for your services?” - Every patient

Draws your blood. Makes you pay for it.

Via Quickmeme

#7. When you get caught mapping out your best stick opportunity before making eye contact

I have a passion for veins, what can I say?

You know you're a Phlebotomist when you recognize their Median Antecubital Vein rather than their face.

Via CDN 

#8. When the lab is calling, and you know why

Say it isn't’ so!

They said the specimen is hemolyzed Jimmy


#9. She loves me

Sometimes all it takes is a little compliment to make things move quickly.

She told me I have good veins so I guess you can things are getting pretty serious. Phlebotomist that drew my blood told me this.


#10. It's my job

Good thing you told me or I would have never figured that out!

When someone points out their vein. You know... I get paid to do this...

Via Me.Me 

#11. When you realize your job has created new neural pathways

I silently whisper WTF to myself at least 7 times a day.

Atlas of a Phlebotomist's Brain. Why do I always get this guy? Now that's lipemic. Here comes Mr. No Veins. Ooo-oo Nice one! I should have just stayed home. She has no blood, I swear. She needs to take a bath. Big and thick, the VEIN I mean...


#12. When you are so intrigued you can’t stop staring

I never believed in love at first sight, until now.

Please don't report this photo as it is phlebotomist porn.

#13. When your patient is taking anticoagulants

 Can you not hold me accountable for the inevitable?

Hey girl, when you draw my blood, please don't bruise me.

#14. When orders come in right after you finish collecting specimens on the unit

Can’t we just all be on the same team?

You get a blood culture. And you get a blood culture. And you get a blood culture. Everybody gets a blood cultures!!!

#15. When your patients make fun of you

How would you like it if I started calling you names?

One does not simply call the phlebotomist a vampire!

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#16. When you see your non-compliant patient for the 5th time

Remind me why you are in the hospital for COPD management again?

I'm still mad about the phlebotomist blowing out my vein

#17. When you think the nurse lies because they are busy and you get to be the jerk

What is the point of this PICC if you can’t use it?

Hi. I'm the phlebotomist. You know that handy dandy $4,000 PICC you have in your arm? Well the nurse "surprisingly" can't draw from it?!? Soooo-- I'm gonna have to poke ya.

#18. When your Sunday is everybody else's Friday

But I get to run my errands at noon on a Tuesday when you all are working. You must envy my position.

Happy Friday! Oh wait, I'm working all weekend.

#19. Trying to articulate to your patient that now is not a good time to yell at you

I’m just trying to help you out.

One does not simply piss off a phlebotomist who is about to stick a needle in your arm!

#20. Trying to explain your real job to the lay people

But I’m basically a hero.

Phlebotomist. What my friends think I do. What my mom thinks I do. What society thinks I do. What my boss thinks I do. What I think I do. What I actually do.

#21. When administration questions you about why you are so behind

There is a simple solution to this problem folks.

What if I told you to have a better turn around times you would have to fully staff the lab.

#22. When you become the king

I knew I was the best, and now everyone knows it.

That feeling you get hitting the vein first try when everyone else failed.

#23. When you remind your patient that by drawing blood for analysis, you keep them alive to see another day

Let's not miss out on the big picture.

I bruised your arm but did you die?

#24. When love deceives you

I thought we were in this together?

When your patient's veins look perfect, but they're just no good for nothin' liars. The sad thing is, I actually thought you were different.

#25. When you have no choice but to brag with your eyes

Don’t ever question my skills.

When you get blood from a patient in the arm they said you'd never be able to get it from.

#26. When it’s your fourth time drawing blood on the same patient 

I don’t know how to better explain that I know what I’m doing.

Oh you want the butterfly needle.... whatever I'm using the big one.

#27. When your patient has awesome veins but doesn’t know it

We have so many different size butterflies around here. Just don’t watch me.

When a patient demands me to use a butterfly but has a huge vein. I use a butterfly....a 21 gauge butterfly.

#28. When your patient can only handle pain if it makes them look cool

If you can handle 13 ear piercings this will be a breeze.

Girls be like... needle pokes arm, girl screaming. Also, girl has several piercings in ear.

#29. Phlebotomists on a date

I see so much potential here.

Ever find yourself admiring a stranger's veins...?

#30. When you feel like the biggest failure

I need to take the rest of the day off for my mental health.

When you can't hit the vein to save your life. And the next person hits it first try.

#31. When you can’t guarantee success on the first try

Wish me luck!

Yes, I'm going to draw your blood. May the odds be ever in your favor.

#32. Phlebotomist humor

That was funny, right?

Two blood cells met and fell in love but atlas is was all in vein.

#33. When a phlebotomist acknowledges they are #1

“I would like to thank everyone for believing in me, it is because of you that I had the strength to fight on.”

How phlebotomists feel with 30+ patients and no misses.

#34. Why does everyone keep referring to me as a vampire?

It's not like I actually drink your blood as nourishment for my survival.

What I do at work. Nurse drawing blood for woman. What friends of family think I do. Female vampire with blood running down face and neck.

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